Dobie Gillis

I try to live my live by the mantra of, "I am who I am" and while Popeye said it first, no other cartoon character said it better.

In the past week, five people have told me that I look angry.  Random people that I don't know..  At first it was funny but the last one struck a chord.  Is that how people see me?  I know I don't make a great first impression and that's my biggest fault, but I'm not angry.  I'm a just a thinker, right?

No matter who you think you are, when people start to question your preconceived notions, you start to wonder.

I want to yell at the top of my lungs, "I'M ALWAYS DEEP IN THOUGHT!  IT'S A GOOD THING!

Halfway Home

The other day I made a five year plan for myself only to remember that's not who I am.  I have nothing holding me back in life and that's comfortable to me.  Being the analytical person that I am, I did however make a list of my options.  First, what is known; I'm going to stay at my current job for three months and save up money.  Here are my options after that.

• One of my best friends offered me an opportunity to invest in a new bar opening up around a year from now.  His current bar is doing great and everything points to the new one doing just as well.  Along with the investment opportunity he also offered me a place to stay while I get back to the real world and a job working at the micro-brewery he's about to open up.  What can I say, I have great friends who are like family to me.
• I could work and save money; and then lounge on the beach for a month before coming home.  Thailand, Fiji or Bali sounds good right about now.
• Another friend, that I call my brother, is moving to Denver and there's always a spot for me there.  I hear great things about the city and I wouldn't be far from the Great Divide; something I consider as a natural holy land.
• When I leave Oz I should have enough money to travel South America.  Machu Picchu has always been at the very top of my list of places to see and I have friends, that I've met along the way, living there.
• I can get a work visa for New Zealand and continue to work and live the dream and if I'm lucky enough, score a job as an extra on the new Hobbit movie.

So, there you have it... Fuck if I know.  I'm just going to keep on living and see what happens.

A comfort plush all laced in lead
Was sent to quell your sentiment
And keep your trembling sentinel hand at bay

Take

I'm settling in at my new job and while on the outside it's a perfect setting for a horror movie, it's not too bad.  Mount Magnet is bush country; a dry, arid landscape in the middle of nowhere.  The backpackers live in a motel like building with every two units sharing a bathroom.  My room is nice and I don't have to share a bathroom since the other room is left vacant because my predecessor hung himself in my bathroom.

That's right, the backpacker I replaced hung himself in my shower.  It's a little strange but death is apart of life. I guess I'm comfortable with death because my grandparents use to own a funeral home and one of my dad's many jobs was a mortician.  I understand death but I still wonder how he got to the point of taking his own life.  From what I learned he proposed to his girl only to be turned down.  So he went backpacking.  He was a loner at work and his room was scattered with drugs and razorblades.  That's all the information I have and I'm sure his life was more complex but now he's just a footnote in my life's journey.  Hopefully someone out there will honor his spirit with memories of the good times.

Aus dem Stegreif

Once again I've slowed down and ended up in the middle of nowhere at a roadhouse.  For those who don't know, a roadhouse is kind of like a truck stop/community hub in rural Australia.  A resting point for weary travelers tramping across the great emptiness of Oz and a local meeting place for farmers and miners.  It's a good place to look at what I've learned about the world and an even better place to evaluate who I am.  The first things you learn while traveling is your strength and weaknesses.  I'm making a list of them and hopefully will post them later on, but first where I've been the past couple of months.

The dairy farm was what it was, a 12 hour a day, six day a week ball buster that paid peanuts.  My boss was German and the most efficient man I've ever met.  Nothing went to waste on the farm and he had everything planned out six moves in advance.  He was a taskmaster and being who I am I received the nickname Troubles from my coworkers because I was always being crucified for either driving too fast, joking too much or just saying what I thought.  All things I take pride in.  One thing I've learned from traveling and 30 years of life is to be who you are.  Change and growth are two different entities.

With that said, the dairy farm will always hold a special place in my heart.  My co-workers were amazing and there was never a dull moment between a cow pissing in my mouth while I was yawning or getting an ATV stuck in three feet of mud only to get myself stuck trying to get out.  Things that will humble you and give a broader sense of humor at the same time.  But like that badass guitarist once said, All Thing Must Pass.  The main reason I was working there was to fulfil my second year visa requirement of working on a farm.  And then I found out Americans couldn't get second year visa, so I packed up and headed to the city to be lazy.

I stayed the past couple of months in Melbourne with my German bosses son, a guy that is the complete opposite of his father.  Genetics are funny; I'm just like my father but if I didn't know better I would say my brother was adopted. 

I wish I had some great stories to tell you about my time in Melbourne but I did what most guys wish they could still do; smoke pot, play video games and watching a shit ton of movies.  Did you know Mr. T made a movie in 1984 called The Toughest Man in the World?  It's so bad that Rotten Tomatoes doesn't even have it listed.  Watch it and I guarantee you'll be quoting it for months.

We did however make a golf course in the backyard.  I wish I could show you all 5 holes but I only have video for the first two.  Enjoy.

I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps